


What ‘Normal’ Means

by respira_mia



Category: Samurai Sentai Shinkenger, Super Sentai Series
Genre: Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26082718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respira_mia/pseuds/respira_mia
Summary: Kaoru Shiba wants a taste of normal life - whatever that could possibly be. Takeru promises to help with that, under the excuse (to Tanba) that she simply wants to spend more time with her son. With the help of her family and newfound friends, she will learn to overcome the doubts she’s forced herself to push away and teach herself what it’s like to be a regular teenager.
Kudos: 6





	1. Settling In

“Are you sure you have everything? You’re not uncomfortable, are you? I can always-”

“Tanba, I will be fine. Stop worrying about me. And besides, Takeru is my son - there is no reason for me to be uncomfortable.”

In all honesty, the Princess was more worried than she would have liked to have been. Yes, the man who she was about to spend the next few days, weeks, months (who knew how long she’d be willing to stay there?) was family, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t out of her comfort zone. Despite having faced death itself head on, she couldn’t shake a feeling of nervousness. However, if her caretaker caught on to even a trace of this, the whole thing would be called off, and she  _ certainly _ didn’t wish for that to happen.

“I can accompany you on the journey, if you like. I can-”

_ “Tanba.” _ She silenced him with a pointed look. “I am more than capable of taking care of myself. Besides, the kuroko will be accompanying me, will they not?”

The man eventually gave in, with a heavy sigh. “Come straight back if anything happ-” he was cut off swiftly by a fan meeting his neck. “I-I understand, Princess. Be safe.” 

* * *

The journey was peaceful, if Kaoru chose to ignore the constant fears whirring in the back of her mind. She had told Tanba (and herself) that she would be fine, but she wasn’t used to change. Perhaps this was a terrible idea - perhaps she should just turn ba-

The door slid open and a beautiful blue sky met her eyes. Kaoru and her belongings were helped out of the carriage, and guided to the entrance. A man and his guardian stood in front. The eighteenth and nineteenth heads of the Shiba clan smiled somewhat awkwardly at each other.

“Takeru.” She nodded in recognition.

“Princ- Mother.” He responded, quickly correcting himself. “I trust you had a safe journey?”

“Yes, it was quite pleasant.” She wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince Takeru or herself.

“Jii will see to your belongings.” He nodded to the man beside him, Hikoma Kusakabe, who smiled warmly before guiding the kuroko. Kaoru had liked Kusakabe, from the moment she’d first stepped into the Shiba Mansion. He’d been kind to her in a way that didn’t feel forced or simply because of her status. Takeru seemed to care about him a lot, based on how he treated him. He cleared his throat and continued speaking. “I will show you to your quarters.”

They walked inside the mansion, and Kaoru couldn’t help but feel a small wave of jealousy. This place was where her bloodline lived and trained for years, and yet, she’d only lived here for approximately six weeks. Takeru had lived here nearly all his life. She wondered how that felt.

As they entered her chambers, she came to a puzzling revelation. Even though she was not Shiba’s head anymore, she had been guided to the room that the head would usually sleep in. Takeru must have sensed her confusion, because he explained, right on cue. “A-ah. I’ve never actually slept in this particular room, it didn’t feel…” he trailed off, but she understood well enough. Perhaps he would feel even more guilty about betraying the trust of his retainers if a shadow treated himself to more of the actual head’s luxuries than necessary, and after he’d been adopted, it must have just been a force of habit. “I imagined you’d like to stay here, if you don’t want to we can-”

“This room is quite alright. Thank you for thinking of me.” She responded, looking at nothing in particular. “Do you mind if I have some time to myself?”

“Of course. Take as long as you need.” He bowed and left her to her own devices.

A normal life… that was what she said she had wanted to learn more about, and that was why she was here. They’d told Tanba she simply wanted to get to know her son better, but now she wasn’t sure if either truly were the case. Yes, both were things she wanted to do. However, standing in the room her father once stood, she realised she wanted to repair the shame she felt after failing everyone’s expectations. She wanted to feel worthy of being a Shiba again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'm not sure how long this fic is going to be, but I certainly plan to write a few chapters for it.


	2. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru relives memories of her past and tries to cope with hiding her insignificant and ridiculous (in her mind, at least) fears and worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I failed to mention in the previous chapter - this was inspired by a list of headcanons by tumblr user narashikari.

When she was young, the Princess had a vivid imagination and frequently awoke, thanks to wild dreams, involving large amounts of fire and the parents she never knew - nightmares, they were called. She looked it up in a dictionary she found in her manor at the age of seven. She knew that, if he ever got wind of her situation, Tanba would either fret and blow it way out of proportion, or just dismiss it and get her to carry on with her training, so she didn’t mention a word of it to him.

As she grew older, Kaoru taught herself to block out the fear. She told herself it’d just be a hindrance, if she wanted to be the one to master the sealing script. However, after she’d spent time around the Shinkengers and adopted Takeru, she’d been encouraged to open up a little. She didn’t realise that would mean those night terrors would reappear, though.

This time, they were different. There was less fire, but they were still nightmares nonetheless. These ones included her greatest moment of shame, one she'd hoped she'd never have to relive - but alas, life is never fair to those who live and breathe.

* * *

Her knees begged to tremble, but she refused. Everything was for this day. It could not afford to fail. Deep breaths, slow and steady. The only thing she allowed herself to focus on was the brush in her hand. If this didn't work... no, it would work. Thoughts of fear were unnecessary. Her heartbeat seemed to be getting louder and louder. She finished the symbol. Did it know about the legacy and importance it held? She shook her head: these thoughts wouldn't help. She cast the seal forward. She thought she’d done it.

She hadn't.

She was foolish. She let her guard down - and in doing so, she’d let everyone down.

Dokoku’s heartless laughter was accompanied by voices of disappointment. Sometimes they were her own, other times they belonged to people she’d never heard speak before. Their comments spared her little mercy.

“Failure.”

“Weak.”

“That’s the eighteenth head?”

“Even a mere shadow could do better than her!”

There was one more voice, one that returned without fail, every time she had this dream. She knew who it was - she’d never heard his voice before, but somehow, she knew.

_“She is no daughter of mine.”_

* * *

Kaoru awoke with a start, a hollow feeling in her chest. She looked around to get a feel for her surroundings. Quickly realising that she was simply in the Shiba Mansion, she relaxed a little and counted from one to ten to regain composure. Feeling vulnerable, she sat up, realising her face was colder than usual. Tentatively, she touched her cheeks. They felt dangerously wet. She wasn’t used to this feeling. She heaved herself up and ventured outside, with nothing but a brush, some paint and some paper. 

Practising calligraphy was a comforting activity for the princess. She didn’t know why, it just seemed to relax her - when she wasn’t using kanji in battle, obviously. She told herself that it may help her come to her senses and end this ridiculous charade. The air was cold. It was refreshing.

It was almost like she was doing it automatically. She brought forth page after page, each of them filled with a different character. She didn’t even realise someone was there until he cleared his throat. Kaoru was surprised, but she didn’t show it at all. Kusakabe seemed slightly amused by her reaction.

“Forgive me for startling you, my lady. I simply found it concerning that you would be up and about at such an early hour.” 

“Ah… thank you, but I am perfectly fine. I have just had trouble sleeping as of late. It is nothing too worrisome.” She replied in a manner that she hoped wasn’t too static.

Kusakabe came forward and sat at a distance from the Princess, but not a ridiculous one. Kaoru would chuckle to herself about this later, noting that Tanba would object to anyone except himself being even within a 2 metre radius of her. Kusakabe seemed to be studying her face intently.

“Princess… you’ve been crying.”

She was silent for a moment. The man did not say anything during this pause. Eventually, after giving her response some thought, she opened her mouth to speak. “Please… do not mention this to Takeru. I do not wish to worry him.”

“I understand.” Kusakabe nodded his head. “However… if there is something bothering you, I would advise you to speak to somebody about it. It may be hard for you, as someone trained not to show emotion, but you will feel better for talking about it.”

“I shall consider it. Thank you, Kusakabe.”

He bowed and left her alone again. Kaoru looked at the view and reflected on the conversation that had just happened. Speaking to somebody about that nightmare… and risk showing emotion? Could she really?

She let out a sigh. Even _that_ didn’t betray a hint of her emotions, despite the fact that she was alone. It was frustrating at times, trying to be perfect when she very well knew she couldn't be. Perhaps she should talk to someone. Eventually, but not now. She wasn’t ready. But, then again, would she ever be? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!!


End file.
